Dear People of Earth,
I write this letter today to tell you about a wonderful invention that was created on or about March 10, 1876 by a friend of mine, Alexander Graham Bell. Bell’s successful experiments with the electromagnetic telephone became a commercial success in the late 19th century. The intention of his invention of the telephone was to allow for the electronic transmission of intelligible “articulate speech” (Bell’s words). This is important because with the invention of the telephone, as we know it today, you could actually hear the person’s voice and immediately respond. You may ask why the invention of the telephone is so important when we presently have invention of devices that assist us in sending the written word in a most immediate way.
The telephone is important today, just as it was hundreds of years ago because you can hear the person’s tone, the inflection in their voice AND you can respond immediately to what they’re saying, ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Take note, People of Earth, you cannot do that with email, texting or instant messaging, no matter how many emoticons or emogees you place in your message. The tone of your voice cannot be felt, heard or observed on paper unless you write a lengthy message that includes the tone of your voice or your emotions. Thus, I submit to you People of Earth, that when you want to convey a very important message that requires an immediate response, PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL THAT PERSON. I assure you, you will get better results in return for your efforts.
(or at least I would think he’d write something like this if he were alive today)